Kat with a K

On your mark, get set...

It's almost time for NaNoWriMo! Five minutes! Good luck to any of you who are writing. I'm planning to write a sentence or two at midnight, go take a shower, and then write for a little while longer if I feel like it. We'll see how it goes...

Random Sunday

Because randomness can happen any day of the week, right?

1. Something strikes me a bit wrong about Weight Watchers sponsoring a figure skating event. Let's see, how many ways can they find to screw up American women's body image all at once? It's multi-tasking!
2. That said, boy, are there some pretty boys in skating. I've decided that Evan Lysacek is my new favorite. (And when I was finding his Web site, I realized how young he is. Eek.) But no, I like him for reasons other than his looks... he's one of the few skaters I've seen recently who really seems like he is a) paying attention to his music and b) having fun. Whee. Can't wait for the Olympics!
3. You know the "shoemakers' wives go barefoot, and doctors' wives die young" proverb? (No? Well, honestly, I only know of it through Anne's House of Dreams, but I figure Gilbert is a decent authority for this sort of thing.) In any case, it seems that a little-known corollary, at least in this house, is that knitters get hypothermia. At college, I was known for always walking around knitting things in the dead of winter but never actually wearing any of the hats or scarves or anything I made. Apparently the habit has stuck with me; when the cold weather hit last week, I couldn't find a single hat or scarf or mitten. All I found were my leather driving gloves. So. This must be remedied, especially as my roommate and I are playing the "heat game"; I seem to feel that if I can knit us enough warm stuff, we can keep the heat off indefinitely. His fingerless mitts will be done tonight and then I'll start on a hat for myself. Pictures soon.
4. I tried to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich and failed rather spectacularly. A freaking grilled cheese sandwich. Since I am, in general, considered to be a darned decent cook, I have logically concluded that the cause of my sudden culinary failure is the fact that I seem to be considering an advanced degree¹ and maybe even a career in academia. (Yeah, I was surprised too.) The fates are reminding me that no, in fact, I can't have it all! Didn't they notice how I kindly conformed to traditional gender roles and let my roommate take out the trash the other day? (He said he needed to assert his manliness somehow.)
5. Have you read Michael Nava? No? What are you waiting for? I started with the last of the series, Rag and Bone, and absolutely loved it; I'm now tearing through the series from the beginning. Fascinating main character, insteresting mysteries, bittersweet romance. What more could you want?
6. Thanks to everyone who answered my questions (especially Cate, who has gone above and beyond) and expressed their support for my novel. I can start writing in 27 hours and 24 minutes! Not that I'm counting...

___
¹ In this context, an "advanced degree" means a Ph.D. in something more strictly academic; I am currently in an MLS program but I see that more as professional training. (And really, it's about the most ladylike degree you can get, so the fates aren't interfering. They realize that spinsters need a way to support themselves. Isn't that why libraries were invented, anyway?)

Where babies come from

So I need you all to tell me where babies come from. No, really. Let me explain. As I've mentioned, I'm participating in National Novel Writing Month again this year. And I need a bit of background research help.

Super-condensed plot summary: Shortly after same-sex marriage becomes legal in Massachusetts, Greg (an English professor at a small college) and Sean Patrick decide to get married and have a baby. They ask Greg's best friend Christine to be their gestational surrogate. Christine successfully gets pregnant. Sean Patrick decides he actually doesn't want the marriage and family thing, now that he thinks about it, and leaves. Greg freaks out and isn't sure he really wants the baby at this point either. Then Christine finds out she's carrying twins, and she and Greg have to figure out what to do.

Now. I'm going to have the initial "will you do it?" conversation be in a prologue and then pick up the story once Christine is pregnant, so I won't need any in-depth descriptions of medical procedures. But I want to at least have my facts straight on the basics. So I'm looking for research suggestions: books, Web sites, etc. for facts, as well as blogs for personal stories. Here are some of the questions I need to figure out:

1. What fertility procedure would be most likely here? I was initially thinking IVF, but maybe IUI? But would that decrease the likelihood of twins? The twins are kind of integral to the plot.
2. I think I want the babies to be genetically Christine's. Assuming, for the moment, IVF, would it be likely that they would use her eggs? Assuming no fertility problems, is there a higher success rate for IVF using the eggs of the person who will be carrying the baby rather than donor eggs?
3. I'd also like one twin to be biologically Greg's child and the other to be biologically Sean Patrick's. Is this plausible?
4. What are the major complications they'd be watching for in a twin pregnancy?

Any responses, thoughts, tips, etc. would be most appreciated. Also, I am setting up a list of people who will receive the story via e-mail as I write it. If you are interested, let me know.

Done!

The baby blanket! The mind-numbing, soul-sucking, endless gorram baby blanket¹ is done. And it's pretty, too. (No pictures at the moment, because my ISP was down last night and so I'm writing this from my work computer.)

I finished the border and cast off while watching the pilot of Six Feet Under on DVD from Netflix.² So now all that needs to happen is weaving in the ends, packing it up, and sending it to Texas. If anyone talks to Princess Aaralyn, tell her it's almost there.

___
¹ My feelings about the blanket are not in any way reflective of my feelings about the baby (who is adorable) or her mommy (who is a great friend). Just so that's clear.
² I watched the whole disc (three episodes) because I was that quickly addicted. I highly recommend it, if you ever have the chance to see it. I'm not quite sure what I was expecting, but it was very different from and much better than whatever I had anticipated.

So close.

So I had a very "almost" sort of day yesterday. Shall we review the day's goals?

1. Sleep late. Sort of. I woke up right at seven but managed to doze for a few hours. So... almost.

2. Clean room. More or less. I cleaned, which is not to say that the room is clean. But it is firmly in the "better" category. I got a bunch of boxes and such moved, so it's probably cleaner than it's been since I moved all my stuff in. But it's far, far from done. And I still have not found the heating vents... think they might be in the corner with all the yarn? Yeah, I thought you might.

3. Do homework. Mostly. I did my whole big project due Wednesday. I also have to read and respond to an article - I read about half the article. So I have a bit more to do. But the big thing I was worried about was done. So... almost.

And finally...

4. Finish the baby blanket. Almost. I am so, so very close. I have to knit about four rows, cast off, weave in the ends, and send it to Texas. So so close. I won't be getting home until midnight tonight, but I should be able to finish it tomorrow. Finally. And then I can knit, you know, something else. Really, at this point... anything else would do.

The bad place.

One of my new blog addictions, a little pregnant, has a category of entries that she calls "Welcome to the bad place. Population: You." I have been, um, rather enamored of this category name recently, because it seems to fit how I've been feeling so very very well. (I am also wishing I had some more interesting category names, especially now that I'm writing more personal stuff. Hmm. Perhaps a project for tomorrow. Because I have, you know, so much time.)

Anyway. The bad place. I feel like I've been getting rather familiar with it the past week or so. Let's just say that, if I were to take one of those "Which Serenity character are you?" quizzes, I would not be the least bit surprised to get a resounding answer of "River." Why? That's not so clear. I mean, I'm not the most happy-go-lucky person to start with, certainly. And a lot of it is the break up. Yes, it's been two months or so, but you don't get over five years in two months. And yes, I was doing very well for a while. But now I'm doing not so well, which is probably good, because it means I'm not suppressing my emotions as much. It's not that I'm pining and wanting him back (most of the time), so that's good, at least. I'm just still dealing with the fallout.

The fallout, more particularly, is a sort of identity crisis. An old college friend recently said, mostly joking (I think), "I don't even know who you are anymore." It sort of hurt. But. There it is.

I don't even know who the heck I am anymore.

Welcome to the bad place, indeed.

Now that I'm here, though, and I've recognized I'm here, it's sort of comforting. The eye of the storm, perhaps. I am letting myself be sad, happy, insane, miserable, euphoric, distracted, scattered, and obsessed as I need - or all at once. I am not doing the "la la la it's all great" thing because, well, it isn't. I am letting myself think about who I am, what I want, and what I don't want. I am letting myself think about the past, and the future. (And, of course, Thanksgiving.) I am, periodically, trying as hard as I can to Just Stop Thinking. Oh yeah, it's been fun.

At the moment, though, I'm feeling pretty stable. I spent the evening eating Indian food at a new (to me) restaurant and then sitting around the living room drinking wine and listening to music with my roommate. I'm actually feeling slightly relaxed for once. (Don't worry, I'm sure I'll wake up stressed.) My aunt was supposed to visit this weekend, but she wasn't feeling well and decided to stay home. Now, I am sorry that I won't get to see her, but I am not terribly upset about the prospect of an unexpected free day.

So, my new and improved plan for tomorrow:
1. Sleep as late as possible.
2. Madly clean room.
3. Do homework.
4. Finish the gorram baby blanket.

I have made a deal with myself that as soon as I finish the blanket, I can knit whatever I darn well please. For a while, at least. So watch for a severe case of knitting ADD with a side order of existential angst, coming soon to a blog near you!

And where was the graffiti, anyway?

Just to keep us updated:
Days until Thanksgiving: 34
Number of phone calls with parents about Thanksgiving in past two days: 4
Number of neurotic e-mails to roommate about Thanksgiving in said time period: about a dozen
Number of hysterical conversations with said roommate about said topic in said time period: It's kind of hard to say. Since we live together and work together, he has a kind of hard time getting away from me.

Conversational highlights:
Dad: "No, really. It's not like you're going to be missing anything fun."
Mom: "It's a holiday. Someone might as well have fun... Maybe I can tell them I'm on call?"
Roommate: "I had no idea Thanksgiving could be this complicated."
Me (e-mail): "One more thing and then I promise I will shut up about Thanksgiving until at least, you know, November."
(In my defense, I kept that promise for several hours until my mother called me at work to discuss - say it with me now here - Thanksgiving.)
After witnessing said phone call:
Roommate: "You know, I'm starting to be surprised you turned out as normally as you did."
Me: Hysterics. Sort of unquotable.
A bit later:
Me: "So now do you see how I'm not really being unreasonably obsessive about this? Just being prepared for the inevitable?"
Roommate: "It certainly does seem to be a learned behavior."
A bit later still:
Me: "I'm driving myself crazy. I must be driving you crazy."
Roommate: Did not exactly reply. Did watch a movie with me so I could, as I put it, just stop thinking for a while.
Yes, he's a very patient man. Yes, he will be getting a darned good knitted Christmas present. (No, let's not discuss my family's Christmas plans yet. Thanks.)

So, to help me Just Stop Thinking, we watched American Graffiti. Great soundtrack. Interesting seeing the actors (especially Dreyfuss and Ford) so young. Loved Harrison Ford singing "Some Enchanted Evening." But. WTF?

Problem A: The plot. Let's just say that I was not surprised when George Lucas said in the "making of" documentary that the original version was almost twice as long. I definitely felt as though a few of those deleted scenes would have been helpful for figuring out, you know, what the heck was going on.

Problem B: The message. Let's review what we learned:
1. How to get your boyfriend back: Don't sleep with him. Do get into a potentially deadly car crash with another man.
2. How to control a man: Threaten to accuse him of rape. Alternately, threaten to rape him.
3. How to control a woman: Threaten to rape her.
4. Women ruin everything. The boy with the girlfriend did not go away to college. The one without a girlfriend did.
5. Get in cars with strange men. Really, what could possibly go wrong?
6. How to be a good teacher: Chaperone a school dance. Smoke with one student and sleep with another.
7. How to find your soulmate: Hook up with your ex-girlfriend. Join a gang (okay, it was somewhat under duress). Get a message on the radio to "the blonde in the white T-bird," because there could only be one of those.
8. Or: when you respond to his radio message, make sure you don't tell him your name.

It also really bugged me that, at the end, there were little notes of what happened to the four primary male characters, but nothing about the women. Presumably they all got married and lived happily ever after. Or, you know, went insane from dealing with these men.

I also did not notice any graffiti in the movie. Huh?

Reality Check

So it looks like I'm not going home for Thanksgiving.

This in itself is not necessarily all that odd. Of the past four Thanksgivings, I have spent two away from my family, with my ex-boyfriend and his parents. That, in fact, is part of the issue. This Thanksgiving, I will not be with the person with whom I spent the past four Thanksgivings. I know, I know, Thanksgiving is about family... but still. This year will seem strange, regardless of what I do.

The reasons I'm not going, though, are more practical.

Here's how I think Thanksgiving should go:
Everyone should be relaxed and getting along. There should be snow flurries. I should be cooking yummy things with my mother. We should all be watching the Macy's parade. Dinner itself should all come off flawlessly and conversation should manage to be interesting while avoiding any dangerous ground. The rest of the weekend should be time to relax and have a bit of family bonding.

Here's how this Thanksgiving would actually go:
Wednesday: Work all day, go to Boston for class. Leave class at nine and head to Connecticut, arriving perhaps around 12:30 am if I'm extremely lucky. Try not to fall asleep driving. Try not to go crazy because of the inevitable traffic.
Thursday: Get up to watch parade. Argue with brother, who will think the parade is stupid, about use of the TV. Try to help my mom with whatever we need to cook to bring to my aunt's house. Head to aunt's house for fun family excitement! Try to figure out who's mad at whom. Get interrogated about my ex, school, my job, etc. Listen to comments about my, and everyone else's, weight and appearance. Be the good little peacemaker and try to keep everything running smoothly. When we all sit down and go around the table listing things we're grateful for this year, try to figure out how to appropriately phrase "I got dumped," "I hate my job," and "I am so beyond stressed right now. Why am I here?" Try to make conversation with my cousins. Try not to think about the in-jokes and whispered comments my ex and I would have been making.
Friday: Mom goes to work. I drive back, panicking about finishing my final project for class, due the next week and trying to deal with more inevitable traffic. Try not to think about last year, when my ex and I had a lovely (really) time at the day after Thanksgiving sales.
Go to work at the store either Friday or, at the latest, Saturday morning. Wish I had time to sleep or, you know, work on my final project. Try not to think about last year.
Now doesn't that all sound like fun?

Nevertheless, I had planned to go, mostly because I was worried about my parents' reaction if I didn't. And I was worried about my parents getting flack from the rest of the family if I didn't show. But then I talked to my parents, and they both seem to think that doing all that driving for so little time home, when I have all this other stuff I need to be doing, is, well, insane. So. Everyone seems agreed. No need for me to go home for Thanksgiving.

Now, of course, the question is what to do instead. There are a few possibilities. Plan A involves going with my roommate to his parents' house. Plan B, which is perhaps more likely, involves spending the day in my favorite pajamas, knitting and watching the parade and Christmas movies, and then having some sort of celebration with my roommate later in the weekend. Really, either sounds okay. I think. Of course, I'm not sure how I'll feel when the day arrives, but I'm trying not to worry about it too much. I'm sure some variation of sad (re: loneliness) and/or guilt-stricken (re: filial duty) will be in there somewhere... might as well let it be a surprise so I have something to look forward to.

Aren't holidays fun?

Review: Until the Real Thing Comes Along

Elizabeth Berg's Until the Real Thing Comes Along was a quick read, decently written, that dealt with interesting topics. I hated it. The problem? The main character. I couldn't stand her. Patty has two main aspects of her worldview: she wants a husband and children. And she is in love with her best friend Ethan, who is gay, and refuses to see this (her love, not his sexuality*) as anything she has any control over or could possibly change. And - here's the kicker - she refuses to acknowledge that these two basic tenets of her life do not exactly work together well. Therefore, her solution is to have a child with Ethan (who also does want a child, but not, obviously, a wife). She browbeats him into sleeping with her and gets pregnant on the first try (and, of course, is disappointed; she wanted an excuse to sleep with him regularly). Patty then is amazed that the rest of her domestic fantasies don't exactly spring into life. (I don't want to give too much of the story away, so I'll stop the plot summary there.)

Ethan's motivations are a bit suspect too, of course: he knows Patty is in love with him and yet agrees to a "partnership of convenience" anyway. I got over my annoyance with him, though, because he actually provides a decent explanation for his thoughts and actions. Patty, on the other hand, constantly explains everything, but just does not get it. She claims to be Ethan's closest friend, to know everything about him, and yet she remains basically in denial of his homosexuality. She seems to see it as basically random and totally unconnected to the rest of him (or, as she might think, the real him). She thinks there's a sexuality switch that could be toggled on or off without affecting the person as a whole at all.

This probably bugs me more than it might other readers because it's another example of an issue that has been bothering me anyway. Let's back up a bit. My roommate is also a coworker and good friend. We have a lot in common, are rather frighteningly similar in some ways, and get along very well. I mean, really: we live together and work together and therefore spend probably about 75% of our lives within twelve feet of each other, and haven't tried to kill each other yet. So it's pretty much accepted fact that we get along oddly well, and this periodically comes up in conversation with other friends or family. The great majority of the time, the seemingly automatic response is "Oh, too bad he's gay. You'd be perfect for each other."

Umm, no. There is something very flawed about that reasoning. Actually, I have several issues with it. For example, I don't think it's a given that we'd be perfect for each other in the first place - sexual orientation aside, what I'm looking for in a roommate or friend is not the same as what I'd be looking for in a boyfriend**, although there would certainly be some overlap in criteria. I also don't like the implication that romantic relationships are somehow intrinsically preferable to friendships, but that's another issue. Anyway. The issue I have with it in relation to the book is the idea that sexuality is totally distinct from basic identity. I have trouble with the premise that if my friend or Ethan in the book (see, I told you I'd get back to the book) had happened to have been born heterosexual, they would in all other aspects be the same person.

Actually, "I have trouble with it" is too mild; I think it's preposterous. It seems the difference in experience, if nothing else, would be far too great. For just one example, think of a long-running crush you had in middle or high school. Think of the ways that person affected your tastes, activities, etc. Think of how all those little decisions built up to make you into the person you are. Then extrapolate to all your other crushes, relationships, actors you found attractive, etc. I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this. But apparently Patty can't. And that's just talking about particular experiences, and not even really getting into the larger issue of identity, which is one I don't feel prepared to tackle.

So. What I am trying to say is that, while Patty claims to know Ethan completely, her belief that he would - could - be the exact same person she loves and be "not really gay" or suddenly magically become heterosexual shows that she doesn't really know him that well at all. Patty wants a fantasy, not "the real thing" after all.

___
* Perhaps this is actually a good summary of her problem. She believes that his sexuality is something she can change, while her feelings are not, instead of vice versa. (Not that I'm saying it's easy to change one's feelings or anything, of course. But anyone who has ever gone through a breakup and later fallen in love with someone else has done it. Or so I hear.)

**Not that I'm looking.

Books and knitting and cake, oh my!

So who's going to Willow Books tonight for the book launch party? I'll be watching for Kristen... anyone else? I'll be the short girl with long brown hair wearing a burgundy velour dress (um, it's not as fancy as it sounds, really) and kitty shoes. Perhaps a better distinguishing characteristic for this particular event is that I'll be with my roommate, who will most likely be one of the relatively few men there. Tallish, dark blond hair and beard, burgundy sweater. (No, we didn't plan the matching color thing.) If you see us, say hi! And leave a comment so I know to look for you.

Learn something new every day...

Apparently I am a decent enough person to feel guilty about not sharing my chocolate with anyone but the person in my department with whom I am closest... but not a decent enough person to actually offer any to anyone else.

I lost.

So remember the baby blanket I've been working on? The endless one? A while ago (last week maybe?) the intended recipient suggested that we race to see who could accomplish her objective first: me to finish the blanket, her to have the baby. Well, I lost. A gorgeous baby girl came into the world last night. Congratulations to her parents and brothers and whole family!

So, well, this means I have to hurry up already with the blanket. It's about 75% done. I think. I'm fighting the urge to just call it "done enough" at the end of the next repeat and do the border and cast off and send it along. But I think it will be better if I keep going. Right?

At this point, I am very much looking forward to finishing the blanket because I have so many other things I want to be working on. I have realized that, honestly, one of the things causing stress in my life is my number of WIPs and the size of my stash. I feel like my knitting, along with everything else, is out of control. I also feel guilty whenever I buy yarn because I have so much. So... yeah. I'm not proposing a yarn diet or anything crazy like that, but I think that once Christmas knitting is under control, I will start focusing on finishing up some old stuff. Anyone want to join me?

Pulling myself together

So, um, sorry about yesterday. I'd been thinking about including more personal stuff on this blog, and I guess in my madness yesterday I decided to go for it. Hope no one minded. And a very big thank you to Folkcat, Lauren, Kat, and Kristen for all the support and virtual hugs in the comments. It really did help.

So I wound up leaving class early because I was feeling worse and worse, physically, and was having trouble concentrating as well. At points, I was struggling not to fall asleep, so I was worried about driving home if I had stayed for the whole class. Of course, due to power problems or something, I ended up waiting about an hour for a train to take me back to my car. Waiting outside. In the cold/wind/occasional rain. Yes, I'm sure this did wonders for my cold. Anyway, I finally made it home, only a bit earlier than it would have been if I'd just stayed in class, but still. I put on my jammies, talked to my roommate for a while, went to bed, and actually slept quite well.

Today I'm feeling emotionally better but physically yucky. (Of course, they are related; I need to teach my body that "hey, bronchitis!" is not a good reaction to a little stress. Not that I have bronchitis now, but that's where things have generally headed in the past.) I have a full-fledged cold now, with coughing and intermittant wheezing and chills. Fun. So, the plan for the evening:

1. Put on favorite pajamas
2. Do enough from my to do list to decrease the stress level a bit
3. Eat soup and drink tea
4. Curl up in bed with a Netflix DVD and knitting
5. Take some Dimetapp around nine to knock me out and read myself to sleep

Sound good? I have a pretty full weekend planned, so I need to get better. I am also afraid that this cold is the start of the long-running illness I seem to get almost every winter. It's a combination of stress and the weather, I think: as soon as the cold and finals and the holiday season hit, I'm vaguely ill for months. It comes and goes, of course; most of the time it's more annoying than actually debilitating. But yeah... annoying. I'd like to break the cycle. I think it's a combination of not taking very good care of myself and not having very healthy ways of dealing with stress. So this year, I'm formulating a plan. What I have so far:

1. Get enough sleep. No, really. Yes, with two jobs and class, there are nights when I just can't get to bed early enough to get eight hours, but these nights are not the majority. The problem is that there are way too many nights when I stay up late for no good reason. I think if I can improve this, it will make a huge difference - at this point, I can barely imagine not being tired all the time.

2. Remember to take my vitamins. I'm getting better, but still not remembering every day.

3. Eat better. I don't eat horribly, by any means, but I'm sure I don't get enough protein. (Suggestions on easy protein??) And some more fruits and veggies wouldn't kill me.

4. Stay hydrated. Another obvious one that gives me way too much trouble.

5. Actually wear some of those scarves and hats I'm always knitting. Well, I don't know. You don't get colds from being cold, right? Is there any relation to having your body temperature drop or whatever because of weather, and getting sick? In any case, the cold aggravates my asthma, so I should make some attempt with the scarf thing at least.

6. Find some other way to deal with stress, darn it. This is the hard one. I get stressed, my body acts up, I ignore it until it gets so bad that I have to stop everything and stay in bed for a few days. Which, subconsciously, may contribute to the cycle: the implied "reward" of getting to stay home sick. Argh. This is the one I really need help with, and I'd love to hear any input.

Any thoughts/suggestions on any of it would be much appreciated, actually...

Well, this is fun.

Apparently the "Aaaaaah"ness of the previous entry led to a total meltdown in the car on the way from work to class. (It's about an hour drive, NH to Boston.) I spent the time alternating between fighting tears, wondering if I've finally just gone mad, and debating whether to just turn around and go home. Yeah, fun stuff. Now I'm in the computer lab at school getting ready to face a three-hour class. And then the drive home.

If I didn't actually have stuff that needed to get done at work (for once), I would be seriously considering a mental health day tomorrow. Ah well. I'd also sort of like a hug... but there's really no one around to get one from. I'm not comfortable hugging people I don't feel I know very well, but most of my friends in NH are not huggy types, so it's a problem.

Aaaah. It's one of those days when I feel like I'm too messed up or damaged to ever have a "normal" life and I don't deserve one anyway. And I don't know what I want. In practically any context. And I don't know how I'm going to face three hours of sitting through class and the requisite small talk with classmates, and then walking to the T in the rain and then taking the T and then driving home. And my brain won't stop and I'm just driving myself crazy at this point.

I'm trying to convince myself that this is all fairly normal post-breakup stuff... right? Help!

Aaaaaaaah.

I am now undoing all the data entry I did yesterday, because they gave me the wrong information. This is hours of work. And then I have to redo it all when they figure out the correct information. One of the people involved called to apologize, but really, couldn't they bring me chocolate or something? I was having a vaguely off day anyway. I don't feel good, but I have to be at work and then go to class. And work is being frustrating, and it's been raining for days, and I do like rain but enough is enough. And there could be some of what Cate is talking about going on, too. Actually, now that I reread Cate's entry, I'm identifying with a lot of it. Especially if you substitute "messy house" for "demon-possessed children." But yeah... cold/coughing, PMS, work frustration and overwhelmsion (WHAT is the correct form of that word? My brain is obviously gone at this point), contemplation of Big Life Changes, knitting frustration... check, check, check.

I'd like to say I'm going to go curl up in my comfy bed and drink tea and read and knit now, but, well, I can't. Which may be part of the problem.

Hope someone out there in Blogland is having a better day... send sunshine and cough drops.

Ta-da List

I discovered a fun little service this morning (thanks Ais!): Ta-da List. I have five lists so far: a running shopping list, a To Do list, books I'm in the middle of, books I've finished this month (so I remember them all for my "October Books" post), and current knitting WIPs. One nifty feature is that you can choose to make any or all of your lists public, so, if you'd like, take a look at my Knitting WIPs. (I'll probably get the link in the sidebar here eventually.) I must say, though, that those are certainly not ALL the projects I have in progress. They're just the ones that came to mind. I'll add other things as I come across/work on them.

Staying dry

Apparently the flooding in New Hampshire has made national news, because I've been getting a lot of calls and e-mails from worried friends and family. So I thought I should mention here too: I'm fine (although I appreciate the concern). We've been getting rain on and off for the past few days, and combined with the fallen leaves it has made some roads rather slippery, but I haven't seen any flooding in my area, at least so far! Keep your fingers crossed for me...

Crazy idea

Plans are in the works (as of about two minutes ago, honestly) for Kat's First Annual Pre-Holiday Knitting Slumber Party. The idea is that we all (er, most of us) go crazy with the holiday knitting, so why not make a party out of it? If you're going to be pulling knitting all-nighters, wouldn't it be better with friends? The basic idea is to take just a quick break from family and holiday craziness in early to mid-December and have a night of knitting, talking, watching movies, and eating junk food (or healthy food if you prefer).

If you're in the area (southern NH, but there's no reason you couldn't drive here from MA or even the greater New England area), would you be interested? (I can't guarantee a completely open invitation because my apartment isn't huge, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.) If you're not in the area, do you have any suggestions for such a party? And would you be interested in some sort of virtual component (a chat, or all picking a night and blogging about it, or something)? I'm still at the brainstorming stage here, so let me know any thoughts/ideas.

Back to work.

Today I started working again at the bookstore where I worked from 2002-2004. I was there full time for about a year and a half, then part time for a while after I got my current full time job. I quit about a year ago, for various reasons, but I've regretted it ever since. So I finally reapplied, and today was my first day.

Yes, this is in addition to school and my full time job. Yes, I will be busy. But it think it will be worth it. Being back today just felt so right. I missed the books, the co-workers, even the chance to work with the public. When I was back there today with my name tag on, I felt like I was home.

... and hey, the discount doesn't exactly hurt either.

Are you sure it's not Friday?

Reasons why I think it's Friday:

1. This has been one of the longest weeks ever. You could tell me it was next Friday and I wouldn't be surprised.
2. I just got home from the movies. I normally do not go out gallivanting on work nights.
3. I had candy at work this afternoon, which is generally a Friday-only occurence.
4. I have a weird urge to stay up late doing nothing in particular.
5. I really, really, really do not want to go to work tomorrow.

Random Kat Facts, 1-5

Okay; we're going to try out a new feature here. Every so often, I'll write a few odd or little-known facts about myself; they'll all be under the same category name so looking at all of them will basically become a "101 Things About Me" sort of thing.

1. I love strawberry cream cheese, but I'd rather not have it on a whole bagel - I prefer half a bagel with strawberry and half a bagel with regular. (Eaten separately, not as a sandwich.)
2. When I was a young child, my parents convinced me that the ice cream truck was actually the "night-night truck," and that it drove around and played its song each evening to tell all the kids it was time to go to bed.
3. I had a big bucket of Legos as a preschooler, but I don't really remember building much. I loved to dump them out and then sort them all... by color, size, etc.
4. I was convinced that I didn't like Indian food until about a month ago. But I'm starting to think it's becoming a favorite.
5. I love cold weather mostly because of the cuddly clothes and blankets it allows. Flannel, wool... mmmmm.

Haven't you always wanted to write a novel?

Well, haven't you? Now is the perfect time. Well, not quite now - November. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go have a look-see and sign yourself up. It'll be fun, I promise!

Web searching for kids

I'm writing a paper about KidsClick!, which bills itself as "web search for kids by librarians." I think it's an interesting idea, although not terribly well executed. It is bringing up some other questions in my mind, though...

Does a "search engine for kids" really help kids find the information they're looking for? Or does it hinder them because it searches such a limited set of sites? Or both, depending on the context? Or the kid? Does it end up functioning as a form of censorship, or is it just a study aid? Do kids actually use it? Parents, do you find such sites useful for your kids?

September Reads

Only finished three books this month - oh well. There are a bunch I'm in the middle of, so hopefully October's list will be bigger. Three is better than the zero for August, at least.

(Explanation of the ratings)

Patterns in Silicon (A Lea Sherwood Mystery) by Maureen Robb
Genre: Mystery
Rating: 3
Read my review here.

Yarn Harlot: The Secret Life of a Knitter by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Genre: Knitting
Rating: 5
Comments: What can I say? Stephanie makes knitting more hilarious than you ever thought possible. Her books are just as wonderful as her extremely popular blog. And she's just as great in person, too. Non-knitters might not "get it," but if you knit and have not read Stephanie yet, what are you waiting for? Go. Now.

Tending Roses by Lisa Wingate
Genre: Women's fiction, inspirational fiction
Rating: 4
Comments: A friend has been recommending this for years, and I'm glad I finally read it. It's a gentle, charming story about family, faith, and what's truly important in life.

This is mostly to remind myself, but how would you like a list of books I'm in the middle of and plan to finish this month? Yeah, I knew you would.
Anne of Green Gables (reread), The Cider House Rules, Boys Like Us: Gay Writers Tell Their Coming Out Stories, Moby-Dick: or, The Whale, Women, Family, and Utopia: Communal Experiments of the Shakers, the Oneida Community, and the Mormons, and Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes. Um, yeah, that's seeming like kind of a lot. Wish me luck.

Book Ratings

Starting today, at the beginning of each month I will be posting a list of the books I read in the previous month, with some comments and ratings. I'm writing up this key so I can link it each time instead of rewriting it.

Ratings:

5: Loved it. A favorite.

4: Liked it. Very good; would recommend it.

3: It was okay. Generally either:
a. An enjoyable read, but nothing memorable or
b. Good except for one or two elements that brought it down.

2: Didn't like it. Badly done or just not my thing.

1: Hated it.