Kat with a K

Fear of Finishing

(The New York entry will be coming, I promise. It's just rather long and labor-instensive and I'm tired. And besides, I felt like writing this tonight instead.)

I knit a lot. Not as much as many bloggers, perhaps, but still. A lot. And the amount has been increasing, I believe. But there's something odd going on. Even as I'm knitting more, I'm not coming up with any more finished projects. What's going on?

Basically, the problem is this: I seem to be afraid of finishing things. I also think there are two aspects to this. On the more obvious level, it's the actual finishing process itself. I've gotten better at seams, but they're still far from my favorite thing in the world. And blocking? I've never done it. It terrifies me. I finally have some space, though, so I'm willing to learn. Basically, I think I could get past the technical issues if I could get past the pyschological ones.

I've realized that I've somehow gotten it into my head that I should make projects last as long as possible. I think this is a holdover from when I first really got into knitting, in college. For the first few years, I had little money and no regular transportation to yarn sources. This meant that I tried to make sure projects stretched out long enough so that I wouldn't run out before I could buy more yarn. And I think, on some level, the feeling stuck.

Even now, I find myself thinking things like "I'd better slow down so I don't finish this too soon." Ummm, what? I have way too many projects started. I have tons of yarn waiting to be knitted. I have (mostly) reliable transportation and enough money to buy yarn more or less whenever I want. (Within moderation, of course.) I clearly have no reason to want to prolong projects, and every reason to want to finish them.

So. Now that I've realized all this, will I be able to do anything about it? I'm certainly going to try. And Alison says fall is for finishing, so maybe there's hope.